Hello Girls,
As far as i know, most of the women's trying to hide and ignore the abuses they're getting! Which isn't good and not tolerable, it will give you a tensed and stress situation which will end up with somewhere very badly. I'm trying to understand about the current social issues such as women abuse's! Could you please share us the most common abuses you've seen so far and how did you solved it ?
Talking about abuses to women will take a long time, coz the list is too long to explain. How do I even start?Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
Every bus travel I take to go to my university or attend a meet up,involves some random guy sitting next to me, asking me uncomfortable, personal questions or sitting or standing REAL too close to me. And I'm a girl of modern era and I understand that accidental touches happen. But as a girl, I know which is accidental and which is not. Every time I travel, I prepare myself for these kinda creeps and all I can do is politely ask the person to move away or alerting the conductor or I move away from that place and find another seat. And this is something that happens very often and this is the only thing I can share without embarrassing myself..
Only way we could solve this is by respecting the victims rather than treating them as criminals. Mostly even I'm scared to make a fuss, when someone crosses the limit, because I'm worried that people would judge me. Life is too testy for women already and these creeps only make it worse.
I couldn't agree more @Gobi.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gobi
Totally agree on this point! instead of argue and treat them as criminal betterQuote:
Originally Posted by Gobi
1) call them as brother
2) ask politely with a right move
3) maybe give him your seat to make him feel guilty ( depends on the person social/moral style )
4) find a right place where you feel comfort ( practically impossible in the busiest public transports)
Again,
Real men never touch a women without her permission and men's should guard the women's instead of abusing! it's not recommended to stayaway and maintain low profile! some circumstance women's needs to act seeking help or defending themselves.
As A Girl whose father died in her very young age, I faced abuses in my young age from the men in my so called relative circle, Because they thought there is no one to protect me, But they never knew that i could protect myself from them. one of my relative tried to harass me but I threatened him with a knife. Thank god I escaped from that predator. After that incident I started avoiding myself from being alone without any females around me. In bus travels I have to go through unwanted touches and dirty looks . I hate bus travels because of these cheap acts by some jerks. whenever these kind of incidents happen i move away from the certain place and go find myself a much safer place to settle. " I Feel courageous enough to share this here"
Gobi, yes totally true! The same is with me I travel every weekend to Jaffna and i'm almost completing my studies I go through the same problems just like you go through. but what I do to be honest is once the person crosses his limits I either shout at him to get up and go away so that he would get humiliated ( only when I loose my patience) or poke him with a pin or ark then automatically he starts walking away!Quote:
Every bus travel I take to go to my university or attend a meet up,involves some random guy sitting next to me, asking me uncomfortable, personal questions or sitting or standing REAL too close to me. And I'm a girl of modern era and I understand that accidental touches happen. But as a girl, I know which is accidental and which is not. Every time I travel, I prepare myself for these kinda creeps and all I can do is politely ask the person to move away or alerting the conductor or I move away from that place and find another seat.
Agreed! my mother has advised me several times not to do so because she gets scared whether those predators would notice me and abuse me later on! (As a parent she is right) And there are some guys who come behind me asking for mobile numbers I've even warned them that I would complain this to the police straight looking at their faces( This might not be a physical abuse but it is definitely a mental one) This has even caused a lot of problems for me in my family, all they did was misunderstand me!! And I'm not ashamed to share this because all girls are being abused both mentally and physically everyday in their life.Quote:
Only way we could solve this is by respecting the victims rather than treating them as criminals. Mostly even I'm scared to make a fuss, when someone crosses the limit, because I'm worried that people would judge me. Life is too testy for women already and these creeps only make it worse.
Nice trick, makesure you're not going to kill him though lol;;:)Quote:
Poke him with a pin or ark then automatically he starts walking away
Very true, when you reveal your weakness the moment you'll start getting more and more pressure never before! Better, be brave and find your options to mitigate the situations! it doesn't mean you wanna digest the situation, but you can mitigate it properly to avoid further conflicts.Quote:
my mother has advised me several times not to do so because she gets scared whether those predators would notice me and abuse me later on!
you)rocker:;;:)Quote:
And I'm not ashamed to share this because all girls are being abused both mentally and physically everyday in their life.
Quote:
Totally agree on this point! instead of argue and treat them as criminal better
Quote:
1) call them as brother
2) ask politely with a right move
3) maybe give him your seat to make him feel guilty ( depends on the person social/moral style )
4) find a right place where you feel comfort ( practically impossible in the busiest public transports)
I think that this is only applicable for those guys who show themselves as decent in the public. They won't physically abuse us but they would mentally abuse by asking our mobile numbers!!
WOULD THEY LEAVE US IF WE CALL THEM AS BROTHER?
According to me I totally disagree with this point.
If a women gives permisson to touch her is it okay for him to touch her rather than his own wife? ( I don't want to argue on this, this is just my opinion and I want to know the answer from your side as well)
I disagree with the point "call them as brother". Then what about those people who are being abused by their own relatives ?, Just as we hear in the everyday news.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
Sometimes I did the same ,I poked the person with an Ark ,But most of the time i walk away from them and settle on a safe place.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani
We should teach male children to respect women and female children to defend themselves from those jerks, Then only we can reduce the abuse in our society.
The Society should stop humiliating the victims instead of the criminals .
Let's be practical about this conversation! If they are asking from all the women's then that's a different mentality, But if it happened very specifically and very polite way then i assume this could be a love that he's trying to reach you in a different channels to express his love! No matter how brave is the men, when men proposing to a women about his true he love's is absolutely a very terrible situation and they'll be ridiculously weak during that time. They to be steady and brave, But mostly they flopped! such situations will make the women to think in a very different perspective.Quote:
I think that this is only applicable for those guys who show themselves as decent in the public. They won't physically abuse us but they would mentally abuse by asking our mobile numbers!!
Again, if the men is seeking a different needs then this won't work, because he won't even think about it! but, again let's be practical! if he's trying to propose you then 50/50 chances he could leave you.Quote:
WOULD THEY LEAVE US IF WE CALL THEM AS BROTHER?
LOL I agree on thisthumb;;:). But proposing a women by straightly looking her into the eyes is totally different from asking her or chasing her for her mobile number I believe that this is a kind of mental abuse as well the other thing is he might be doing this in love (UNCONSCIOUSLY) but as a women from our point of view we would think that he's trying to reach us in a totally bad way.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
NO MATTER HOW GOOD OF A PERSON HE IS! THAT IS A WOMEN'S MINDlol;;:)
Yes if he is true he would leave us alone! But if he is a psycho( there are some guys) who thinks or has a mindset of that this girl is only for me and none should get her then that is SERIOUSLY a different story where as she would even end up dead!!Quote:
Again, if the men is seeking a different needs then this won't work, because he won't even think about it! but, again let's be practical! if he's trying to propose you then 50/50 chances he could leave you.
(Quote:
We should teach male children to respect women and female children to defend themselves from those jerks, Then only we can reduce the abuse in our society.
The Society should stop humiliating the victims instead of the criminals .
YES, What our society usually does is ( Especially those old women and aunties) they blame the victims (girls) if the fault is on their side of men and try to cover the incident.
For instance: If a husband abuses a girl physically, his wife ( few) would blame the innocent kid just to save her husband and her family's reputation. I've heard so many cases like this from my own friends even, they would be crying while sharing their stories.
lol;;:) I won't, I hope he doesn't kill me;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
Very true:) not only in these situations but in our personal lives us well, once people know our weakness they'll start stepping on us. Those lines of yours were truly motivational! Thank youQuote:
Very true, when you reveal your weakness the moment you'll start getting more and more pressure never before! Better, be brave and find your options to mitigate the situations! it doesn't mean you wanna digest the situation, but you can mitigate it properly to avoid further conflicts.
Good one friend!. Those abuses are being covered by the abuser's family just to save themselves and their familie's reputation. The victims are being false blamed that is why maybe victims don't come forward to share these problems .Quote:
Originally Posted by parijat
Very fire topic. But my opinion for all these abuses as a girls we have to be strong and protective for ourselves. In my life most of the time i faced problems while travelling. There's no matter it's a majority of Tamil or Sinhala the abuses still. In Early time i feel bad of it and can't come out from those embarrassing moments for long hours. But now i can go alone even a night travelling for more than 10 hours because i can manage the situation.
As a girl i can protect my self and confidence to face problems.All of the girls must become strong.It's my wish.love;;:)
How can I call the man who intentionally look or Access me badly as a brother? I think brother is something sacred word I won’t use those words for those ugly mindset people. Girl can understand a boy’s intention by his looks. If a boy love a girl they try to make eye conduct not such indecent things. When we are traveling we lmostly face those problems not by our generation boys it’s by the people above 40 age (there are exceptional) at that time I couldn’t control my anger mostly I warn them by looks or I will leave the place. However at the situation we overcome it but the stress of the incidents can’t erasable from our mind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani
This is the sad reality of our society.:( Only god knows why :confused:
Couldn't agree moreQuote:
Originally Posted by Shivani
Couldn't agree more, I never want to disgrace the brother-sister relationship by calling the abuser "A Brother "Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthi
Calling boys "brother" is kinda useless. Coz, nowadays movies have made that "brother" word in any languages as somewhat meaningless.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
And as for asking them politely, it works for some, and sometimes it doesn't. Men who are brave enough to abuse a woman in a public transport would never mind politeness and even after saying once, they do it again after sometime.
Giving him the seat sounds good and has the essence of giving a mental slap to him. But that is somewhat hard to do for me, coz when these creeps are near me, I hardly move even an inch in the fear of getting further contact with that guy.
And the last method works often.
Every moment a girl stays alive, she goes through stares,dirty looks, unwanted touches and unwanted so many things. I often try not to get the attention of the whole bus, because a creep abused me and that's a coward move, I know. But the thing is, I've directly seen people judge an abused girl, even though it's not her fault. They start judging the way she walks, talks, laughs, dresses and her whole attitude and finally they assassinate the character of that girl. Whenever I try to support those kind of victims, I get these weird looks and a lot of men and LADIES say that I don't know a lot about these things and they laugh it away.
I've tried standing up to those victims and what happens is I get ignored or given some nonsense explanation why that girl is characterless. After some time, you lose the will to even reason with these kinda people.
I appreciate your courage sis! May be I should do something like that too. But your mom and I share the same views on this matter. I get like 1000 questions and worst-case scenarios in my head whenever I think of doing such thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani
couldn't agree more! Not only brother, Also calling "sister" especially for the glamour songs is a trend now! I'm wondering are we all losing our basic morals even knowing the fact?Quote:
Calling boys "brother" is kinda useless. Coz, nowadays movies have made that "brother" word in any languages as somewhat meaningless.
I still remember, one of my friend who tried to help a women while she's teased by two goons and finally end up with beating them and the women didn't come and support him, like he just pretended like nothing happen to her, from her perspective she may be scared or don't wanna get any more trouble but my friend side he also had minor injuries from this fight. The moral from this incident is if we really want to support for a women definitely we must think and see the options such as not harming the women either us but strategically eliminate the situation.Quote:
I've tried standing up to those victims and what happens is I get ignored or given some nonsense explanation why that girl is characterless. After some time, you lose the will to even reason with these kinda people.
If every girl's are willing act like this with courage, able to handle the situation properly rather managing or digesting by themselves then there are higher chances to minimize this problem from the society! Of course, we can't completely wiped out, but atleast we can minimize it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa
True Beacon, Being courageous can help us to minimize the abuses, as our courage will evoke the fear in abusers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beacon
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in Sri Lanka