Does dowry system is the "Dream Killer" of girls?

Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?

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Hi bhavya,

Dowry system is "dream killer" is truth in today.more and more marriages are decided based on dowry.as a business dealings.thus ,specifically middle class family's women are involved on that problems.

I don't know why dowry are expected from women?most of women are presected by her husband or husband's family members.

In my point of view dowry system must abolish from our society.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?

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Just as you've mentioned above Dowry system represents marriage as a financial transaction between the bride and the groom and the middleman (a marriage broker)
I have seen so many unmarried girls because of this Dowry system , where as they are unable to dowry the other side.

Between, You have any tips on how to abolish this system?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Hi bhavya,

Dowry system is "dream killer" is truth in today.more and more marriages are decided based on dowry.as a business dealings.thus ,specifically middle class family's women are involved on that problems.

I don't know why dowry are expected from women?most of women are presected by her husband or husband's family members.

In my point of view dowry system must abolish from our society.

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Yeah dowry system adding more worries to our girls life.In my opinion only men can do something to stop this.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?

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It's a bitter truth .some parents want their sons to study more just to get high amount as dowry. We need to stop this culture to grow up as a community

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Originally Posted by Moana

Just as you've mentioned above Dowry system represents marriage as a financial transaction between the bride and the groom and the middleman (a marriage broker)
I have seen so many unmarried girls because of this Dowry system , where as they are unable to dowry the other side.

Between, You have any tips on how to abolish this system?

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We can abolish this dowry system only when people stop asking and giving dowery.

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Originally Posted by Karikaalan

It's a bitter truth .some parents want their sons to study more just to get high amount as dowry. We need to stop this culture to grow up as a community

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yeah I think only our younger generation can abolish this culture from our society. Our generation should stop asking dowry when they get married.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?

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We can't call it Dowry System, Asking for a Dowry is a Sin. If you're not capable to take care of your future soulmate who is travel all along with your life please be stop marring that girl. As a men I said To be a Men you have ashamed to asking for a dowry, it that the worth for you? Are you sell yourself? Just twin your mustache and say "I keep care my girl by myself", that'll be the real attitude of men.

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Originally Posted by Assassin

We can't call it Dowry System, Asking for a Dowry is a Sin. If you're not capable to take care of your future soulmate who is travel all along with your life please be stop marring that girl. As a men I said To be a Men you have ashamed to asking for a dowry, it that the worth for you? Are you sell yourself? Just twin your mustache and say "I keep care my girl by myself", that'll be the real attitude of men.

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Well Said Assassin, If every man thinks like you there will be no dowry system in our society.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Because of the dowry system Our families treated us as a liability. Nowadays marriage becomes a "financial transaction" in our society. Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable. Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for an equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?

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In my POV you have to look into the root of the problem. Why this dowry system was brought into our society?

In earlier times, the dowry was given to the bride for financial independence in her life after marriage. The whole dowry properties belong to her, not to the groom or his family.
But nowadays it is not necessary that the girls should be given a dowry. Because most of the women are earning and they are financially independent. And in another POV, the bride is leaving her home and accepting another family as hers and living with them. So the groom side should give dowry for her. Nowadays, the parents have to educate their daughter and also have to save for the dowry. After her marriage, her earnings belong to groom family. But for a son, it is enough to educate him for a job. This is so unfair. If so, the contribution should be given equally by both families to start a new life. Dowry is not less than begging. He just has the guts to earn himself to keep her respectfully, who is giving lifetime commitment to him.

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Originally Posted by Adiza

In my POV you have to look into the root of the problem. Why this dowry system was brought into our society?

In earlier times, the dowry was given to the bride for financial independence in her life after marriage. The whole dowry properties belong to her, not to the groom or his family.
But nowadays it is not necessary that the girls should be given a dowry. Because most of the women are earning and they are financially independent. And in another POV, the bride is leaving her home and accepting another family as hers and living with them. So the groom side should give dowry for her. Nowadays, the parents have to educate their daughter and also have to save for the dowry. After her marriage, her earnings belong to groom family. But for a son, it is enough to educate him for a job. This is so unfair. If so, the contribution should be given equally by both families to start a new life. Dowry is not less than begging. He just has the guts to earn himself to keep her respectfully, who is giving lifetime commitment to him.

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You got my point Adiza, nowadays girls equally educated and independent like men so there is no need for the dowry. our society should change so many old customs. Those were only applicable to the old lifestyle not fit with our current lifestyle.but from the above comments I can say our generation men are against the dowry system. So there is a hope that it will be completely get vanished from our society.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

You got my point Adiza, nowadays girls equally educated and independent like men so there is no need for the dowry. our society should change so many old customs. Those were only applicable to the old lifestyle not fit with our current lifestyle.but from the above comments I can say our generation men are against the dowry system. So there is a hope that it will be completely get vanished from our society.

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Our generation men are still sons of previous generation parents.lol;;:) So you can't be sure that they will not ask dowry. In most families dowry decision belongs to parents. Whether children agree or not, parents force to get dowry from bride family.

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Originally Posted by Adiza

Our generation men are still sons of previous generation parents.lol;;:) So you can't be sure that they will not ask dowry. In most families dowry decision belongs to parents. Whether children agree or not, parents force to get dowry from bride family.

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True, When it's come to arrange marriage parents are the decision makers. Some men ask dowry for their parents even though they didn't like it. Men should brave enough to fight for their principles and values.

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Originally Posted by Adiza

In my POV you have to look into the root of the problem. Why this dowry system was brought into our society?

In earlier times, the dowry was given to the bride for financial independence in her life after marriage. The whole dowry properties belong to her, not to the groom or his family.
But nowadays it is not necessary that the girls should be given a dowry. Because most of the women are earning and they are financially independent. And in another POV, the bride is leaving her home and accepting another family as hers and living with them. So the groom side should give dowry for her. Nowadays, the parents have to educate their daughter and also have to save for the dowry. After her marriage, her earnings belong to groom family. But for a son, it is enough to educate him for a job. This is so unfair. If so, the contribution should be given equally by both families to start a new life. Dowry is not less than begging. He just has the guts to earn himself to keep her respectfully, who is giving lifetime commitment to him.

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You are right Adiza and that's why parents having more than one daughters feel stressed.They have to think about saving enough money to the dowry of their daughters, to plan the wedding and also to educate them.Nowadays groom side expect a bride with a good educational qualification and also expect more dowry.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

True, When it's come to arrange marriage parents are the decision makers. Some men ask dowry for their parents even though they didn't like it. Men should brave enough to fight for their principles and values.

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The sad part is that love cum arranged marriage is also included in this dowry system.I have seen some such people, why can't the guy compromise their parents not to ask for dowry if she really loves the girl?

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Originally Posted by Helena

You are right Adiza and that's why parents having more than one daughters feel stressed.They have to think about saving enough money to the dowry of their daughters, to plan the wedding and also to educate them.Nowadays groom side expect a bride with a good educational qualification and also expect more dowry.

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That's how the equation son=asset; daughter= liability.... sad truth

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Originally Posted by Helena

The sad part is that love cum arranged marriage is also included in this dowry system.I have seen some such people, why can't the guy compromise their parents not to ask for dowry if she really loves the girl?

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Maybe he is bounded with all other decision of their parents because they have accepted the girl for their son.:confused:

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Originally Posted by Adiza

Maybe he is bounded with all other decision of their parents because they have accepted the girl for their son.:confused:

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Maybe who knows what they think, only the men can answer this question

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Originally Posted by Adiza

That's how the equation son=asset; daughter= liability.... sad truth

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Very true this the way society treats men and women, It will take a very long time to change this mindset.

[QUOTE=Bhavya;7841]Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?[/QUOTE
Do we all really know who started dowry tradition ?? The women's side started this and gradually it changed and came to a point that "Men are women Seeker's"....ofcourse there are people ( Men ) seek for Dowry and it is a must to be banned.. abandoned...By stopping their education we are ruining their outworld knowledge and interaction which makes them innocent and home sick... let them discover... let them expose...... let them live their life which will soon bring a hype change over in humanity..... Live and let live

[QUOTE=Thuva;8872]

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Because of dowry system Our families treated us as a liability.Now a days marriage become a "financial transaction" in our society.Marriage brokers demand their fees from the groom side according to the dowry that the groom's family getting from the bride side. This system making girls' life miserable.Some parents stop their girls' studies because if they study high they have to look for a equally qualified groom who will ask high dowry. So they stop their girls' studies and kill their dreams.

What is is your thought about this dowry system?[/QUOTE
Do we all really know who started dowry tradition ?? The women's side started this and gradually it changed and came to a point that "Men are women Seeker's"....ofcourse there are people ( Men ) seek for Dowry and it is a must to be banned.. abandoned...By stopping their education we are ruining their outworld knowledge and interaction which makes them innocent and home sick... let them discover... let them expose...... let them live their life which will soon bring a hype change over in humanity..... Live and let live

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Hi Thuva,
You're right in ancient time as Adiza said parents gave dowry to their daughter ( note for girls not for groom or groom's family) because in ancient time girls were not educated as the modern girls so parents gave dowry to them for their financial needs. But nowadays some men ask dowry for themselves which is absolutely wrong. I totally agree with your point "live and let live"