Do mothers fuel the chauvinism in boys?

Hello there,

As much as we say women are not treated right and they are being suppressed by men, do you think that women have a part in the state of this society?
I've seen women telling their boys not to cry like a girl. They aren't old women, surprisingly they are 21st generation ladies and they chide their boys when they cry. In childhood, mostly male children connect with their mothers a lot and in my POV, the change should start from women themselves.

Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

"Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic? :confused:

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Originally Posted by Shana

Hello there,

As much as we say women are not treated right and they are being suppressed by men, do you think that women have a part in the state of this society?
I've seen women telling their boys not to cry like a girl. They aren't old women, surprisingly they are 21st generation ladies and they chide their boys when they cry. In childhood, mostly male children connect with their mothers a lot and in my POV, the change should start from women themselves.

Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

"Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic? :confused:

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Couldn't agree more, As you said the change should first happens in our mothers mindset then we can easily change the men mindset. Because mothers are influencing the boys mindset in the childhood.

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Originally Posted by Shana

Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

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These kinds of words suppress the feelings of a boy that he shouldn't express anything emotionally. Actually, this is a real problem in the future, he becomes insensitive when his wife or any girl emotionally breakdowns in some situations.

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Originally Posted by Shana

"Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic? :confused:

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Agree with you. What we are taught by our family shape our character and behavior. This is not anti-feministic.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Couldn't agree more, As you said the change should first happens in our mothers mindset then we can easily change the men mindset. Because mothers are influencing the boys mindset in the childhood.

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Exactly! But those mothers don't get it. I even tried this with my cousin sister and she was like, "no matter what boys shouldn't cry. that's how they'll be strong". I didn't know how to explain the simple truth. They just accept that boys should be always superior, even though they call themselves the progressive type. I just don't get it.

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Originally Posted by Adiza

These kinds of words suppress the feelings of a boy that he shouldn't express anything emotionally. Actually, this is a real problem in the future, he becomes insensitive when his wife or any girl emotionally breakdowns in some situations.


Agree with you. What we are taught by our family shape our character and behavior. This is not anti-feministic.

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First of all, the mothers should understand that no matter what gender that child is, it's basically a human. That is the problem. they think that stopping a boy from expressing his emotions would make him strong. In reality, it makes the kid LOOK strong, but the kid becomes weaker than everyone else.

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Originally Posted by Shana

First of all, the mothers should understand that no matter what gender that child is, it's basically a human. That is the problem. they think that stopping a boy from expressing his emotions would make him strong. In reality, it makes the kid LOOK strong, but the kid becomes weaker than everyone else.

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It's damn true Shana. I've met a few boys who look strong from the outside but very weak inside. Literally, they don't have the ability to handle certain situations very well. They act strong for the sake of society.

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Originally Posted by Shana

Hello there,

As much as we say women are not treated right and they are being suppressed by men, do you think that women have a part in the state of this society?
I've seen women telling their boys not to cry like a girl. They aren't old women, surprisingly they are 21st generation ladies and they chide their boys when they cry. In childhood, mostly male children connect with their mothers a lot and in my POV, the change should start from women themselves.

Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

"Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic? :confused:

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This is 100% true...
I was too attached to mother more than any others.. the man I am now is just what she wanted me to be ..
Chauvinism.. a new term to me .. but that is true that many mothers keep telling their boys that crying is not for men..
Hope our generation girls will change this when they become mother's.

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Originally Posted by Shana

Exactly! But those mothers don't get it. I even tried this with my cousin sister and she was like, "no matter what boys shouldn't cry. that's how they'll be strong". I didn't know how to explain the simple truth. They just accept that boys should be always superior, even though they call themselves the progressive type. I just don't get it.

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Yeah We can't do anything until they them self change their mind.Hope it happens soon.

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Originally Posted by Adiza

It's damn true Shana. I've met a few boys who look strong from the outside but very weak inside. Literally, they don't have the ability to handle certain situations very well. They act strong for the sake of society.

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That's why men have a hard time admitting that women have a strong mind and willpower than most men. The reason is women have the privilege of expressing emotions and men don't.

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Originally Posted by Karikaalan

This is 100% true...
I was too attached to mother more than any others.. the man I am now is just what she wanted me to be ..
Chauvinism.. a new term to me .. but that is true that many mothers keep telling their boys that crying is not for men..
Hope our generation girls will change this when they become mothers.

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Everyone has witnessed this situation first hand in our society. First of all, the change should start with ourselves. It's just all the mothers and grandmas go by the century-old rule of raising a boy stronger because he will one day lead a family. They should understand that suppressing one's emotion is never the way to strength.

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Originally Posted by Karikaalan

This is 100% true...
I was too attached to mother more than any others.. the man I am now is just what she wanted me to be ..
Chauvinism.. a new term to me .. but that is true that many mothers keep telling their boys that crying is not for men..
Hope our generation girls will change this when they become mother's.

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I too hope our generation girls allow their boys to be more human, like allow them to express what they are feeling rather than make them a feelings storage machines.Most of the men have high stress level because they are suppressing their feelings which make them emotionally depressed.

I was reading all of your views and there is one word which kept repeating in my mind - ABSURD! I was planning not to comply but want to share my view here. To begin, chauvinism is a big word. You can't just blame mothers only. It's the whole society who says men shouldn't cry. Also, I don't believe that these above mentioned incidents were the whole cause for psychopath behaviours in men.

About mothers being partial towards boys - I've grown up with sisters and I did have more freedom to roam around in the late nights. Now looking back, if my sisters wanted to go out in the night they would've been let out too but it was their choice to stay at home. I'm not saying this is same case in every family but just saying. In fact, my sister was the first in our family to move to a different city to work and dad encouraged her to take it as she was hesitant in the beginning.

To conclude, I'm what i'm because of the women in my family and I'm proud to say that. Also, i'm not saying women are not to be blamed but my brain won't process the fact that mothers fuel chauvinism.

P.S: For those who think men don't cry or not allowed to cry, I'm saying that we do cry and we cry for silly things too.

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Originally Posted by subasan

I was reading all of your views and there is one word which kept repeating in my mind - ABSURD! I was planning not to comply but want to share my view here. To begin, chauvinism is a big word. You can't just blame mothers only. It's the whole society who says men shouldn't cry. Also, I don't believe that these above mentioned incidents were the whole cause for psychopath behaviours in men.

About mothers being partial towards boys - I've grown up with sisters and I did have more freedom to roam around in the late nights. Now looking back, if my sisters wanted to go out in the night they would've been let out too but it was their choice to stay at home. I'm not saying this is same case in every family but just saying. In fact, my sister was the first in our family to move to a different city to work and dad encouraged her to take it as she was hesitant in the beginning.

To conclude, I'm what i'm because of the women in my family and I'm proud to say that. Also, i'm not saying women are not to be blamed but my brain won't process the fact that mothers fuel chauvinism.

P.S: For those who think men don't cry or not allowed to cry, I'm saying that we do cry and we cry for silly things too.

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Thanks For sharing your view here, for you the discussion may seemed ABSURD but all the people here shared their point of view from their experience as you shared yours.I am glad to hear that you have so much value and respect for the women in your life. I agree society also play a role in chauvinism but in a family women (especially mothers) have the big role in fuel chauvinism in men.I have seen this in my life and I am not accusing mothers I just wish them to change their mindset.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

Thanks For sharing your view here, for you the discussion may seemed ABSURD but all the people here shared their point of view from their experience as you shared yours.I am glad hear that you have so much value and respect for women in your life. I agree society also play a role in chauvinism but in a family women (especially mothers) have the big role in fuel chauvinism in men.I have seen this in my life and I am not accusing mothers I just wish them to change their mindset.

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I shared my POV but just wanted to make sure, are you saying that mother asking her son not to cry fuel chauvinism in men?

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Originally Posted by subasan

I shared my POV but just wanted to make sure, are you saying that mother asking her son not to cry fuel chauvinism in men?

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No , I just took that as an example, The point is, In most of the family mothers treat their boys more special than the girl children (in every way)which fuel chauvinism in men, again I am not accusing all the mothers,directly or indirectly these upbringing make some men chauvinist.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

No , I just took that as an example, The point is, In most of the family mothers treat their boys more special than the girl children (in every way)which fuel chauvinism in men, again I am not accusing all the mothers,directly or indirectly these upbringing make some men chauvinist.

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It's just a thing like father treats their daughter as princess. Doesn't mean the girl become a queen? It's just a siblings rival that the one is treated better than the other but parents treat them equally and we know it. I don't agree that mother's feed chauvinism in men. It's the society that fuels this.

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It's just a thing like father treats their daughter as princess. Doesn't mean the girl become a queen? It's just a siblings rival that the one is treated better than the other but parents treat them equally and we know it.

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I totally agree with this point. In our we all had this siblings rival but when we grew up we automatically realize the truth.

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I don't agree that mother's feed chauvinism in men. It's the society that fuels this.

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Society play a key role in men chauvinism but there are SOME mothers who fuels chauvinism in men.

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Originally Posted by Bhavya

I totally agree with this point. In our we all had this siblings rival but when we grew up we automatically realize the truth.

Society play a key role in men chauvinism but there are SOME mothers who fuels chauvinism in men.

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Maybe in Ramarajan's (yesteryear actor) lifetime. But I stand in my point, 'Mother's have nothing do with male chauvinism'.

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Maybe in Ramarajan's (yesteryear actor) lifetime.

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At least, you have accepted that there maybe chances for this

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But I stand in my point, 'Mother's have nothing do with male chauvinism'.

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I am happy that you didn't see the society that we have seen.