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Thread: Do mothers fuel the chauvinism in boys?

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    Do mothers fuel the chauvinism in boys?

    Hello there,

    As much as we say women are not treated right and they are being suppressed by men, do you think that women have a part in the state of this society?
    I've seen women telling their boys not to cry like a girl. They aren't old women, surprisingly they are 21st generation ladies and they chide their boys when they cry. In childhood, mostly male children connect with their mothers a lot and in my POV, the change should start from women themselves.

    Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

    "Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
    Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    Hello there,

    As much as we say women are not treated right and they are being suppressed by men, do you think that women have a part in the state of this society?
    I've seen women telling their boys not to cry like a girl. They aren't old women, surprisingly they are 21st generation ladies and they chide their boys when they cry. In childhood, mostly male children connect with their mothers a lot and in my POV, the change should start from women themselves.

    Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

    "Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
    Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic?
    Couldn't agree more, As you said the change should first happens in our mothers mindset then we can easily change the men mindset. Because mothers are influencing the boys mindset in the childhood.
    You're not going to master the rest of your life in one day.Don't stress.Master the day.Make this a daily reminder.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.
    These kinds of words suppress the feelings of a boy that he shouldn't express anything emotionally. Actually, this is a real problem in the future, he becomes insensitive when his wife or any girl emotionally breakdowns in some situations.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    "Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
    Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic?
    Agree with you. What we are taught by our family shape our character and behavior. This is not anti-feministic.
    Let's be the change

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bhavya View Post
    Couldn't agree more, As you said the change should first happens in our mothers mindset then we can easily change the men mindset. Because mothers are influencing the boys mindset in the childhood.
    Exactly! But those mothers don't get it. I even tried this with my cousin sister and she was like, "no matter what boys shouldn't cry. that's how they'll be strong". I didn't know how to explain the simple truth. They just accept that boys should be always superior, even though they call themselves the progressive type. I just don't get it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adiza View Post
    These kinds of words suppress the feelings of a boy that he shouldn't express anything emotionally. Actually, this is a real problem in the future, he becomes insensitive when his wife or any girl emotionally breakdowns in some situations.


    Agree with you. What we are taught by our family shape our character and behavior. This is not anti-feministic.
    First of all, the mothers should understand that no matter what gender that child is, it's basically a human. That is the problem. they think that stopping a boy from expressing his emotions would make him strong. In reality, it makes the kid LOOK strong, but the kid becomes weaker than everyone else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    First of all, the mothers should understand that no matter what gender that child is, it's basically a human. That is the problem. they think that stopping a boy from expressing his emotions would make him strong. In reality, it makes the kid LOOK strong, but the kid becomes weaker than everyone else.

    It's damn true Shana. I've met a few boys who look strong from the outside but very weak inside. Literally, they don't have the ability to handle certain situations very well. They act strong for the sake of society.
    Let's be the change

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    Hello there,

    As much as we say women are not treated right and they are being suppressed by men, do you think that women have a part in the state of this society?
    I've seen women telling their boys not to cry like a girl. They aren't old women, surprisingly they are 21st generation ladies and they chide their boys when they cry. In childhood, mostly male children connect with their mothers a lot and in my POV, the change should start from women themselves.

    Every time a mother says "don't be scared like a girl!", "don't' cry like a girl!","Boys shouldn't cry", those kids grow up thinking that crying and admitting fear are girly habits which show weakness. This leads up to chauvinistic mid set in their early days and they grow up to be the abusers, sociopaths, and sadists who take pleasure in hurting women. Women have a strong impact on their kids and when it's a boy child, the mother is always partial to him than the girl simply because of the gender.

    "Boys will be boys". This line is almost 100% heard in all families. I think it's unfair we're blaming the male society alone of its chauvinism. Women should take a part of the blame too.
    Am I wrong in partly blaming women in the state of our society? Or Am I being anti-feministic?
    This is 100% true...
    I was too attached to mother more than any others.. the man I am now is just what she wanted me to be ..
    Chauvinism.. a new term to me .. but that is true that many mothers keep telling their boys that crying is not for men..
    Hope our generation girls will change this when they become mother's.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    Exactly! But those mothers don't get it. I even tried this with my cousin sister and she was like, "no matter what boys shouldn't cry. that's how they'll be strong". I didn't know how to explain the simple truth. They just accept that boys should be always superior, even though they call themselves the progressive type. I just don't get it.
    Yeah We can't do anything until they them self change their mind.Hope it happens soon.
    You're not going to master the rest of your life in one day.Don't stress.Master the day.Make this a daily reminder.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adiza View Post
    It's damn true Shana. I've met a few boys who look strong from the outside but very weak inside. Literally, they don't have the ability to handle certain situations very well. They act strong for the sake of society.
    That's why men have a hard time admitting that women have a strong mind and willpower than most men. The reason is women have the privilege of expressing emotions and men don't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Karikaalan View Post
    This is 100% true...
    I was too attached to mother more than any others.. the man I am now is just what she wanted me to be ..
    Chauvinism.. a new term to me .. but that is true that many mothers keep telling their boys that crying is not for men..
    Hope our generation girls will change this when they become mothers.
    Everyone has witnessed this situation first hand in our society. First of all, the change should start with ourselves. It's just all the mothers and grandmas go by the century-old rule of raising a boy stronger because he will one day lead a family. They should understand that suppressing one's emotion is never the way to strength.

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