Who knows the best way to reject something?

**Shana** · 05-26-2018, 11:05 PM

I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?

**Bhavya** · 05-26-2018, 11:24 PM

Originally Posted by Shana

I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?

I have the same manufacturing defect

, Hope we both get some solutions from here

**Shana** · 05-26-2018, 11:35 PM

Originally Posted by Bhavya

I have the same manufacturing defect

, Hope we both get some solutions from here

Well, thank god I'm not the only one around here!

**Ritika** · 05-27-2018, 02:20 AM

Take it positively. You have best quality of human being. and you manufacture to be kind and help others. People take advantage of others, that's where we live. Sometimes making enemies would be fun. if you are tired of doing it then make some good enemies to keep you going.

**Shana** · 05-28-2018, 03:07 AM

Originally Posted by Ritika

Take it positively. You have best quality of human being. and you manufacture to be kind and help others. People take advantage of others, that's where we live. Sometimes making enemies would be fun. if you are tired of doing it then make some good enemies to keep you going.

LOL...Making enemies is not fun for me actually. I like to be liked by most. I don't like to have a back-stabber around me as my enemy and I love having friends even though they take advantage of me. That's my problem.

**Bhavya** · 11-27-2019, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by Ritika

Take it positively. You have best quality of human being. and you manufacture to be kind and help others. People take advantage of others, that's where we live. Sometimes making enemies would be fun. if you are tired of doing it then make some good enemies to keep you going.

True Ritika, selfless giving is the best satisfying feeling you can feel ever. And you are right not everyone can be kind-heart person.When started to give without expectation then we won't affected by others wrong behaviors.

**Ritika** · 05-27-2018, 02:21 AM

Maybe, try to explain your situation to them.

**Karikaalan** · 05-27-2018, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by Shana

Well, thank god I'm not the only one around here!

Don't think you both are the ones . There are many others including me.. but I have improved a lot in this one year. As I took some big responsibilities(big as millions) in my shoulder for this one year, I was just forced to say No . Everytime I used to explain my situation. Now I am little used to say no . I learnt another important thing that when I say yes and do something they will always come back to us another time. Still its a hard task to say NO

**Shana** · 05-28-2018, 03:12 AM

Originally Posted by Karikaalan

Don't think you both are the ones . There are many others including me.. but I have improved a lot in this one year. As I took some big responsibilities(big as millions) in my shoulder for this one year, I was just forced to say No . Everytime I used to explain my situation. Now I am little used to say no . I learnt another important thing that when I say yes and do something they will always come back to us another time. Still its a hard task to say NO

Wow...How do you do it? Whenever I say no, they're like "You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" and they make me feel like a traitor for getting off some work off me. How do you handle these dramas?
And I have a compulsive behaviour to say yes. I don't like people getting disappointed by me even for a second and that puts a hell load of a burden on my shoulders.
And I don't like saying No, without trying it even once. Any solutions?

**Bhavya** · 11-27-2019, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by Karikaalan

Don't think you both are the ones . There are many others including me.. but I have improved a lot in this one year. As I took some big responsibilities(big as millions) in my shoulder for this one year, I was just forced to say No . Everytime I used to explain my situation. Now I am little used to say no . I learnt another important thing that when I say yes and do something they will always come back to us another time. Still its a hard task to say NO

So we have lots of members in this group

, And you are right when we say yes they will come back to us again and again. Nowadays I also learn to say no but yet need lots of improvements. Because after saying no I feel terrible I think with time I will get use to it.