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Thread: Who knows the best way to reject something?

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by assassin View Post
    It's general thing for the people I think. Because I have this kind of feel as well, but I never say "No" to anyone. Instead of saying "No" better you can say "Yes, But it takes too long do" or give them an alternative solution to do somehow in another way. Even though I feel guilty sometimes the solutions I suggested not work out well by unexpected factors. Simply God decides those I think.
    Guilty feeling...That is the origin of every headache I have.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shan View Post
    Always pain accompany with rejection.If we have faced it already ,then never wish to give such hard feelings to anyone.

    In case if we are in a compelled situation to reject for someones betterment then we must look in to certain things before doing so.It is not a simple task.It needs a strong heart and polite ,kind words else it ends with miss understanding.The right way is to empathize their situation and react based on that. Saying directly to the person without hurting is welcomed but sometimes rejecting through friends or colleague reduces the awkwardness.
    Rejecting through a friend makes me feel like a coward. That's another problem. I usually try it with mu utmost kindest words, but they take it as a form of weakness and try to overpower me with words.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    Wow...How do you do it? Whenever I say no, they're like "You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" and they make me feel like a traitor for getting off some work off me. How do you handle these dramas?
    And I have a compulsive behaviour to say yes. I don't like people getting disappointed by me even for a second and that puts a hell load of a burden on my shoulders.
    And I don't like saying No, without trying it even once. Any solutions?
    What do they do at the same time we do their work? It's their work. We have a long way to travel in life. We have our own work and they have their own work.
    "You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" This looks like an emotional blackmail. I dont have such friends who emotionally blackmail me. That's why I think it's easy for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
    Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
    This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

    Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?
    the ability to say "No" is one of the important quality of a leader. I consider everyone as leaders, as you are the leader of your own life. I have experienced the same issue in many instances. but later I realized that it is important to prioritize what is more important and critical. this applies everywhere in your life. Again it is your responsibility to identify what is important and critical. when others ask for support or help you can simply state that "I will check and let you know" or other similar terms and then you can kindly apologize and state that you are unable support at the moment. Most of the time this worked out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neo View Post
    I consider everyone as leaders, as you are the leader of your own life. I have experienced the same issue in many instances. but later I realized that it is important to prioritize what is more important and critical. this applies everywhere in your life. Again it is your responsibility to identify what is important and critical. when others ask for support or help you can simply state that "I will check and let you know" or other similar terms and then you can kindly apologize and state that you are unable support at the moment. Most of the time this worked out.
    It's really helpful , Thanks for sharing this idea here Neo

    the ability to say "No" is one of the important quality of a leader.
    Totally agree with it.
    You're not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Don't stress. Master the day. Make this a daily reminder.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Karikaalan View Post
    What do they do at the same time we do their work? It's their work. We have a long way to travel in life. We have our own work and they have their own work.
    "You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" This looks like an emotional blackmail. I dont have such friends who emotionally blackmail me. That's why I think it's easy for me.
    Totally get your point!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neo View Post
    the ability to say "No" is one of the important quality of a leader. I consider everyone as leaders, as you are the leader of your own life. I have experienced the same issue in many instances. but later I realized that it is important to prioritize what is more important and critical. this applies everywhere in your life. Again it is your responsibility to identify what is important and critical. when others ask for support or help you can simply state that "I will check and let you know" or other similar terms and then you can kindly apologize and state that you are unable support at the moment. Most of the time this worked out.
    True words! Sounds useful!

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    I have the same defect. I don't expect their help to me again. Some peoples just talk to us nicely to get some help from us. If we did that, then they forgot that and started to insult u. I am really hate that minded people. Did anyone feel like me?
    Diligence is a mother of Good luck

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    Guilty feeling...That is the origin of every headache I have.
    Haha, It's necessary. That feel keep you so much active and let you think about various solutions. So don't worry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shana View Post
    I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
    Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
    This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.
    Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?
    Don't worry about this manufacturing defect. Earlier I had the same problem. I said 'yes' not to hurt them. But I experienced a lot from others. I felt 'used', when someone get help from me, but leave me when my time comes. Don't regret for this quality, but just be careful for whom you are doing?
    Let's be the change

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