Thread: Who knows the best way to reject something?

Originally Posted by Shana

I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?

It's general thing for the people I think. Because I have this kind of feel as well, but I never say "No" to anyone. Instead of saying "No" better you can say "Yes, But it takes too long do" or give them an alternative solution to do somehow in another way. Even though I feel guilty sometimes the solutions I suggested not work out well by unexpected factors. Simply God decides those I think.

Originally Posted by assassin

It's general thing for the people I think. Because I have this kind of feel as well, but I never say "No" to anyone. Instead of saying "No" better you can say "Yes, But it takes too long do" or give them an alternative solution to do somehow in another way. Even though I feel guilty sometimes the solutions I suggested not work out well by unexpected factors. Simply God decides those I think.

Guilty feeling...That is the origin of every headache I have.

Originally Posted by Shana

Guilty feeling...That is the origin of every headache I have.

Haha, It's necessary. That feel keep you so much active and let you think about various solutions. So don't worry.

Always pain accompany with rejection.If we have faced it already ,then never wish to give such hard feelings to anyone.

In case if we are in a compelled situation to reject for someones betterment then we must look in to certain things before doing so.It is not a simple task.It needs a strong heart and polite ,kind words else it ends with miss understanding.The right way is to empathize their situation and react based on that.Saying directly to the person without hurting is welcomed but sometimes rejecting through friends or colleague reduces the awkwardness.

Originally Posted by Shan

Always pain accompany with rejection.If we have faced it already ,then never wish to give such hard feelings to anyone.

In case if we are in a compelled situation to reject for someones betterment then we must look in to certain things before doing so.It is not a simple task.It needs a strong heart and polite ,kind words else it ends with miss understanding.The right way is to empathize their situation and react based on that. Saying directly to the person without hurting is welcomed but sometimes rejecting through friends or colleague reduces the awkwardness.

Rejecting through a friend makes me feel like a coward. That's another problem. I usually try it with mu utmost kindest words, but they take it as a form of weakness and try to overpower me with words.

Originally Posted by Shana

Wow...How do you do it? Whenever I say no, they're like "You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" and they make me feel like a traitor for getting off some work off me. How do you handle these dramas?
And I have a compulsive behaviour to say yes. I don't like people getting disappointed by me even for a second and that puts a hell load of a burden on my shoulders.
And I don't like saying No, without trying it even once. Any solutions?

What do they do at the same time we do their work? It's their work. We have a long way to travel in life. We have our own work and they have their own work.
"You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" This looks like an emotional blackmail. I dont have such friends who emotionally blackmail me. That's why I think it's easy for me.

Originally Posted by Karikaalan

What do they do at the same time we do their work? It's their work. We have a long way to travel in life. We have our own work and they have their own work.
"You did this for them, why can't you do it for us?" This looks like an emotional blackmail. I dont have such friends who emotionally blackmail me. That's why I think it's easy for me.

Totally get your point!

Originally Posted by Shana

I'm a compulsive-pleaser and I'm bad at saying 'no' to anything. If someone asks a help from me, I say yes, even though I know they don't deserve it. If anyone asks me to finish some thing, I say Yes, even though I'm already stretching myself thin.If someone gives me an extra responsibility, I say Yes, though I know I could use some rest.
Actually, I tried saying No to some people at some instances, and I ended up regretting it later. It makes me feel guilty for rejecting some one's preposition. I feel responsible for what they'd feel after I say No.
This is a manufacturing fault I have, and I don't know how to recover from this without making enemies of people around me.

Any suggestions I could use to smoothly say no or reject something while not hurting their feelings?

the ability to say "No" is one of the important quality of a leader. I consider everyone as leaders, as you are the leader of your own life. I have experienced the same issue in many instances. but later I realized that it is important to prioritize what is more important and critical. this applies everywhere in your life. Again it is your responsibility to identify what is important and critical. when others ask for support or help you can simply state that "I will check and let you know" or other similar terms and then you can kindly apologize and state that you are unable support at the moment. Most of the time this worked out.